नोट-सो-प्लेअसिंग.

Creeping inside slowly, hiding every inch of her shining bare skin underneath the white quilt, she curled up and wrapped her arms around her knees. It was -10 degrees outside and she turned inside the quilt. Now she had her mobile phone lying adjacent to her stomach. She stared at it with a strange glint in her eyes. She whispered, “Come on.” The assertiveness was going way beyond reach. She waited. It didn’t show any sign of life. Gradually, her grip on it loosened up a bit as her senses started to give up on her. She was soon in a trance.

It finally rung. “hello?” She heard a familiar voice speak out of her mouth. The thing had gotten into her again. Someone else was doing all the talking. “Hey. You called?” He said.
“Yeah, just wanted to know how you were doing” Dammit, I shouldn’t have said that.
“I am good. Anything else?” He said, in the coldest tone possible.
She searched for words to come out of her mouth and managed a ‘no’ and hung up without a second thought.
“It’s all my fault, I shouldn’t have called him up.” She stared at her phone and felt her heart sinking as she saw the same number flash on her screen again.
“Hello?” She said.
“I’m sorry, I love you.”

She knew the hard truth, it wasn’t real. What she saw was partly what she wanted to see and partly what she was made to see. Logic vs. Desire. She tried to move, but seemed to have lost all control over her body. He was inside her, prohibiting her to make any movement, physically or mentally. After a lot of struggle, she murmured a “no” and woke up. She grabbed onto her phone that was ringing and kicked the quilt off her body. “Hello?”
“Hey, you called.”
“Oh, that. I had work. It’s done now. Thanks for calling. Later.”
“dude? What?”
-click-

Things that don’t make sense to you, please you. =)

Serenade? :P

They crib and cry,
They curse and they scream.
They pull out their hair
and say that's what love means..


Love isn't sacrifice, love isn't cliched
Love isn't pain
It's nothing that we say

I'd rather be caught in a cobweb of love
and build it further..
I'd spread my arms to take over this culture
where love is tears,
love is fear,
where love is toxic
where love is despair.

Most of you would think me to be
a lover who has everything she needs
I play a song every evening down the aisle
searching for him and his insatiable smile

I'm just as invisible as you are today
but my hope is alive that this love will stay.
He doesn't know me, he doesn't care.
The aisle will be crossed, the song will be shared.

Love is strength. Love is belief.
Love is the power, it's all you need.
Don't demean it, don't disrespect!
For it will serve you with what you expect.

Because i was bored.

Like a common face in the crowd,
And a withering leaf on a tree,
The mourning of the enchanted sky,
i'm the buzzing sound of a bee.

So incapable, so rejected,
so invisible, oh so meaningless

And my life is an inverted umbrella,
There's no place to hold on to.
It's like a living tornado,
which disrupts lives of others too!


Like a blinking light in the sky,
and a drop in the ocean,
The disguising tear of every eye,
is tearing out off me.

So incapable, so rejected,
so invisible, oh so unwanted.

And my life is a broken willow,
that has a name carved deep into it,
No possible traces of reality,
My life feels like a myth.

And my life is an inverted umbrella,
There's no place to hold on to.
It's like a living tornado,
which disrupts lives of others too!

From the Diary of a Rapist's lover.

Clenching it tightly in her soft, little hands, she stared right into his eyes with cold indifference. Through those indifferent, inconsolable, indelible eyes, she conveyed her pretentious innocence. She managed to mock a smile, a real smile. She announced to him, "I've received it. Leave." He turned around and walked without another word, towards the door, stopped at the grand threshold and said, " I love you." She faked a laugh this time, " Leave."

Slowly uncrumpling the parchment, she read it out, voice barely reaching out from her throat till her lips, " I slept with her. Please forgive me, I love you." She wiped the tears from her eyes, and lit up a cigarette. The "click" of the lighter echoed like the tick tock of the clock, like his footsteps walking out the door. It was pervasive and poisonous.

About a week later, she couldn't stand the melancholic atmosphere and hence, decided to take meditation lessons... And she decided to give him another chance to pluck off her petals, roughly.

Don't unleash your identity.
Your disguise brings me a lot closer
to the reality that I want to see.

Your breath still lingers inside me,
rummaging through my heart,
I wish I knew what it seeks,
other than tearing it apart.

Love's always going to hold on,
it's silently going to wait,
till it's torn apart or accepted,
in its long lasting, undying faith.

A song that I wrote.

1. Glimmering light of the dawning sky,
Mocking tales of the heavy sighs,
A shimmering light in your eyes,
I’m dreaming of the perfect life.

2. The funny frivolous party hour,
Washing out the blurry scar,
Sitting on the morning flower,
I’m trying to catch the brightest star.

CHORUS: running through the unfathomed light-
I am painting the world with colours bright –
Healing the broken hearts, filling up their lives,
I’m walking in a dream, while I’m living my life.

3.Walking past a million drives,
Smudging out the oldest fights,
The priest’s taking an honest pli-e-ayi-ight
BRIDGE: You’re flying away with the shedding leaves,
I’m telling you goodbye,
I don’t mind you leaving, I don’t mind at all.
I’m living in my dream, I’m walkin in my life.
CHORUS: running through the unfathomed light-
I am painting the world with colours bright –
Healing the broken hearts, filling up their lives,
I’m walking in a dream, while I’m living my life.

From the eye of a rapist.

I am not what I used to be. Someday or the other, this thought haunts the mind of every individual. I don't know why I'm bringing this up today. But something tells me, I've lost my conscience far behind. I don't feel love anymore. The feeling of subtilty of that someone's touch, innocence in a child's eyes, perpetual sweetness of a mother's touch don't move me anymore.


She loved me a lot. The whole world had turned away from me when she entered my life. I detested her. I lost my job, my parents, my friends... and my conscience. There was nothing to look forward to. At one time in the past, she had run away from her house to come to live with me. I had slapped her hard and asked her to leave. She silently turned away and secretly watched over me. She was my scapegoat, when I was infuriated, my pillow, when I was tired, my love, when I needed sex. She was everything I needed when I needed anything at all. Even though I hated her, detested her, loathed her, she was indispensable for me. I smirked at her assumption that I loved her. She was nothing but a tool for me. When I began to lust for another woman, she couldn't take it. Filthy, jealous bitch. I shot her dead. But.

She entered my life when the whole world had turned away from me.

I grew up in a slum and my family didn't have enough money to raise me and my seven brothers. Since I was the eldest, they assumed that i could take care of myself, and hence, they threw me out of the house. I was dismissed from my job because I was spending lesser time at work and more with my friends who lived on my money. My friends left me and the reason was obvious. I was penniless.

I slept with many women. Somehow, I couldn't feel the way I felt with her. I was a ferociously hungry person, and I regretted pushing her away from my life. She was never coming back. My hunger for sex and brutality only increased.

By the time I was 30, I lost everything, even the passion to live. I am a rapist and I've murdered my soul, I've murdered her.

As I lay underneath the sky, in the wet, the well trimmed grass, my hands folded behind my head, I turn my head towards you.

"That bitch was a feast, can't wait to take her again."